The bridge of death
by dax0042
Summary: Just like in Monty Python, Garth and his boys must cross the bridge to find the Holy Scrap Bone. Please leave reviews.


Garth and his four brave wolf knights had been searching for the Holy Scrap Bone, for God had sent them on this quest to be an example in these dark times. With him on this quest was Humphrey, Scars, Mooch and Shaky. The five of them had passed many test along the way. Now were drawing near their destination, but there was one last test.

"There it is," Mooch cried. Garth and the others saw him pointing at an old bridge that was between two cliffs, but standing beside the bridge was an old wolf.

"Who is that?" Humphrey asked. Garth turned to his brother-in-law. "That is the keeper of the bridge of death. He asks everyone who wishes to cross the bridge five questions."

"Three questions," Shaky said correcting Garth.

"Right, three questions," Garth admitted with a frown. "Those who answer the five questions."

"Three questions," Shaky snapped, correcting Garth once again.

Garth was staring to lose his cool with Shaky. If there was one thing he hated, it was being corrected by omegas. "All right then Shaky, if you know so much, why don't you go see if you can answer the old one's questions."

Shaky now felt really scared, knowing that if he answered incorrectly, he would be thrown into the pit of eternal death. Shaky thought fast. "I have a better idea. Why doesn't Scars go first?"

Scars pushed past the others and stood beside his leader. "Yes, let me go, Garth," he bravely boasted, "I shall make a feint to the north-east," but Garth cut him off.

"Just answer the three questions," Garth ordered, "and we will watch and pray for you."

With that, Scars made his way toward the bridge when he was suddenly stopped by the keeper. "Stop!" the keeper shouted. Fire shot up from the ground around the bridge, but the old wolf and Scars seemed not to care.

"Who would dare cross the bridge of death without answering my three questions?" The keeper asked with an angry frown.

Scars showed no fear, so he challenged the keeper. "Ask me the questions you old coot, I'm not afraid."

"What is your name?" the keeper asked.

"It is Scars, a member of the united packs."

"What is your quest?"

"To seek the Holy Scrap Bone," Scars said. He had answered the first two questions successfully. Now it was time for the last one.

With a smile, the keeper asked him the last question. "What is your favorite firearm?"

Scars didn't hesitate to answer the question. "The Desert Eagle."

"Right, off you go," the keeper said cheerfully. "Why thank you," Scars said as he walked across the bridge, the others watched him make it all the way to the other end.

"That's easy," Shaky said, so he rushed past the others and was the first one to reach the bridge.

"Stop!" the keeper ordered. Fire shot up from the ground again. "Who would dare cross the bridge of death without answering my three questions?" Shaky stepped forward.

"Ask me the questions bridge keeper, I'm not afraid," he said smiling confidently.

"What is your name?" the keeper asked.

"Shaky, a member of the united packs."

"What is your quest?"

"To seek the Holy Scrap Bone."

The keeper then asked the last question with a dark smile. "Witch studio group made Alpha and Omega?"

Shaky opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't give an answer, because he didn't know. "I don't know that," he said, before being lifted off the ground and thrown into the pit of eternal death by a powerful wind. The keeper laughed with amusement.

Mooch stepped forward, he was ready for any question, because he was always reading books and using Wikipedia online.

"Stop!" the Keeper ordered, as Mooch approached him. "What is your name?"

"It is Mooch, a member of the united packs."

"What is your quest?"

"I seek the Holy Scrap Bone."

The keeper then gave Mooch a sly, but dark smile. "What does it take to get a fat wolf like you to go on a diet?"

Mooch was insulted. Instead of giving an answer, he protested to what the keeper said. "I'm not fat, I'm just a little over weight," he said bitterly, but then, Mooch realized what he had done and was cast into the pit as well.

Garth stepped forward, his eyes bearing down on the keeper for the loss of two of his wolves. Looking up the keeper smiled at Garth and asked him the questions.

"What is your name?" he asked, still smiling.

Garth proudly spoke up, showing no fear about getting an answer wrong. "It is Garth, one of two leaders of the united packs."

"What is your quest?"

"To seek the Holy Scrap Bone."

Now it was time for the final question. The keeper thought long and hard on a way to get Garth thrown into the pit. "Who..." he began, "won the Deadliest Warrior season challenge, dax0042 or Texasman1836?" he asked.

Garth looked rather confused. "What season are you talking about, season 1, 2 or 3?" he asked. The keeper looked at him, puzzled by the question. "I don't know that," he stuttered. Then the keeper was lifted off his feet and thrown into the pit as well.

Humphrey looked at his brother-in-law with a smile. "Did you know who won the Deadliest Warrior season challenge?"

Garth turned to him. "Texasman1836 lost season 1, but then won the other two seasons." Humphrey smiled. "Good, now lets get across the bridge and find the Holy Scrap Bone." Both wolves walked across the bridge safely, but saw no saw no sign of Scars.

Unfortunately, the quest for the Holy Scrap Bone turned out to be a wild goose chase, because Garth and Humphrey were arrested for trespassing on private property.


End file.
